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Sisters in Every Way that Matters
Leslie and Atalaya
15-year old Atalaya still remembers the day she met her Big Sister. It may not sound like much at first, but it was almost six years ago.
“I was nervous,” Atalaya said. “And I didn’t talk much.”
You wouldn’t match that description with the girl who’s sitting here telling this story, though. She’s outgoing. She’s a bundle of fun. And...well, you wouldn’t mistake her for quiet.
“My mom left when I was eight or nine,” Atalaya said. “I went to my guidance counselor one day, and she handed me a sheet of information about Big Brothers Big Sisters, and my Dad signed me up. I filled out a sheet, and here we are.”
Atalaya lives with her father and two teenage brothers, and she thinks having Leslie in her life is very important, because it gives her a female to talk to.
“Leslie has taught me not to jump to conclusions,” she said. She has taught me to talk things out. Before, I used to get in lots of fights with my friends, but now, I know to talk it through with them.”
Sitting next to Atalaya, Leslie’s face lights up.
“That’s neat,” Leslie said. “I didn’t know that.” A smile with a hint of pride edges at her lips. “It’s neat to see that you’ve made a difference in someone’s life.”
Six years has given them a lot of time together, and each learned a lot along the way, too.
“I’ve learned patience,” Leslie said. “Kids grow up so fast.” She turns to Atalaya. “You’ve experienced so much more than I ever had at your age. It’s neat to see how the world changes.”
Feeling a moment that may be growing too heavy, Atalaya smiles and shows her fingernails to Leslie. “Look! All my nails are different.” And then they both burst into laughter.
Quiet returns and Leslie continues. “It’s been neat to see her grow up and change, get involved with her family - reason and calm her down through different family frustrations. And she’s gotten to know my family, too.”
“Her family’s fun,” Atalaya said with a grin. “Her husband’s a blast.”
Leslie laughs. “He’s like another Big Brother.” Leslie’s husband is a fisherman and a hunter, and his teasing and joking have helped draw the three of them together.
When Leslie signed up to become a Big Sister almost six years ago, she had thoughts of what the experience would be like, but never expected this.
“This experience has been more than I ever thought it would be,” Leslie said. “I wasn’t thinking long term.” Six years later, she’s smiling at Atalaya.
Atalaya helps Leslie around the house, and helps her take care of her plants. They play with her cats (when Atalaya’s cat at home had kittens, Leslie took one in), and they decorate Leslie’s house for the holidays. The two of them spend their time together shopping, styling Atalaya’s hair, and watching movies. Atalaya laughs as she remembers one night watching movies together when she and Leslie stood up and started dancing like crazy to a song that came on.
“The opportunities we’ve had aren’t things that are available to the average child,” Leslie said. “We’ve had many experiences that we never would have had otherwise, thanks to Big Brothers Big
Sisters.”
Leslie and Atalaya have gone to Kick-off Kids, where Atalaya was able to hand the Iowa State game ball out to the referee. They go snow tubing every winter at Sleepy Hollow. They participate in the Hy-Vee Fishing Derby, and at Christmas, Atalaya shops for her family members through the Shop with a Cop program.
They are sisters. In every way that matters.
“I tell her everything,” Atalaya said.
Leslie nods. “We’ve really grown to trust each other, know each other, confide in one another, give advice. Things she doesn’t want to talk to her dad about, she knows I’m here.”
“I always wanted a sister,” Atalaya said, looking at Leslie.
For anyone who’s thinking about being a Big Brother or Sister, Leslie said, “Go for it. If you’re willing to put the effort into it, it really makes a difference in a child’s life. And you’ll learn more, and have more fun than you ever thought you would.”
The story seems to be over. Notebook pages are flipping closed, goodbyes are being said, and then, all of a sudden, a serious look floats over Atalaya’s face and the room goes quiet.
“If I could go back and see the guidance counselor who recommended this program, I would tell her thank you so much for this,” Atalaya said. “I wouldn’t be who I am if it weren’t for this program.”
Brothers Work Toward Big Dreams
Tom and Daryl
When Tom Hamilton decided to be a Big Brother, he admits his expectations were relatively low.
“But after meeting Big Brothers Big Sisters staff members, and learning more about the program, and the assistance that’s provided to mentors, those expectations rose very high,” Hamilton said. “This experience has definitely met those expectations, and having a match like Daryl has made this a great experience.”
In February of 2005, Hamilton became Daryl’s Big Brother. Upon meeting Daryl, who was at that time, 16, Hamilton set a lofty goal.
“My goal was to expose him to as many things outside of his world as possible,” Hamilton said. “I want to instill the idea that he can do anything he wants to in this world; that education is his ticket to everything.”
That idea is taking root. Through the Association of Business and Industry, Hamilton coordinated a day that Daryl was able to spend with Iowa Senator, Jack Hatch. To help open Daryl’s perspective of the world, Hamilton often takes time to discuss newspaper articles that spark conversation about everything from the topic of President Bush’s latest speech to NFL game scores. And Daryl’s world certainly is opening up. He’s opened a bank account, a savings account, and an internet account at the library.
Hamilton is full of pride and compliments regarding Daryl. He expresses a kind of awe at Daryl’s maturity.
“I drive through his neighborhood,” Hamilton said. “There’s all kinds of stuff going on there. I can see it. And he’s staying away from it.”
Daryl has stayed away from drugs. He’s doing well in school. He’s very involved in athletic teams. And next on the list - getting into college.
“I’ve got all this information here I need to look through,” Hamilton said, referring to pages and pages on how to apply for financial aid. “My main goal is to get him prepped for his ACT, so he can do the best he can, and then we’ll work on schools. I’m going to become educated on what the options are.”
After that, Hamilton says they’ll start meeting with counselors to determine the next step.
Hamilton is learning a lot from Daryl, too. “He has expanded my musical exposure,” Hamilton laughed. And then he paused for a second before saying, “He’s taught me that you can make a positive impact in someone’s life by being a mentor.”
Hamilton is aware that everyone in the community has their own unique situation, but encourages people to get involved. “Everybody’s situation is different. People are always going to be busy. If you’re waiting for a time when you’re not busy, life just doesn’t work that way. I’m just as busy now as I was when I was saying, ‘I’ll wait until I’m not so busy’. If you want to make an impact on someone’s life - this is it. It’s easy. It’s not a lot of time. It’s not a financial commitment. I’ve had just as many laughs doing this as Daryl has.”
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